Often times people write a lot and actually convey nothing. I will not take up too much time on this post, because I am extremely tired, but I will say that I am back to the starting line. I enjoyed my life with out having to share a "title" with anyone. For the past two weeks, I have been in a relationship, and it hasn't felt like it at all.
I am so through with blaming him... my ex has always been the same person, it's me. I am always the first to say that I am good with being alone, but am I really? I have figured it out. In essence I am. I enjoy coming and going as I please with out explanations and not answering my phone or door if I don't want to. I am just not too fond of dating, so I tend to lean towards familiarity. Don't get me wrong... I love my ex... he is a really good friend. I just don't think we could ever really give each other what we are looking for in a relationship. We just love each other too much to accept it. I am starting my fast tomorrow and I am turning my full and complete focus on God. He is doing quite a work on me.
Dissection:
It seems that this is the only place I can truly vent. My situation is extremely unique... I want so bad to have a family the right way but; I'm not willing to settle and I want to ensure I have God's approval. I am a work in progress, but I know God is going to bring me through this process.
I promise I am going to write less about relationships... there is so much goodness going on in my life. You will be the first to know the details.
The End.
~backatone...again~
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3 comments:
well, I'm sorry to hear (read) this. I know that you have genuine, deep-rooted love for that man.... but, look at it this way: the sooner you REALLY let him go, the sooner you'll have room in your life for your true blessing...
You know what Kryssy... you are ABSOLUTELY correct! I have truly received what you have stated!
Good lookin' out chica... Imma figure this out sooner or later!
smoochez,
rai
single life I know it all too well. And have mixed emotions about it. Hate dating! But love doing me as I please when I please. Been single for the longest. But told myself this year that will end. So we shall see what happens.
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